Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
