That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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