nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
