I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
