It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
