Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
