so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
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Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
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I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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