Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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