thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He did a backflip because drugs
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
