We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
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just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
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you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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