Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
