She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize