but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
