at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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