sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
This is not my ceiling
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
