Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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