Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
