Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
