I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
