call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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