Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize