i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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