You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
no, he came in my armpit
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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