The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
