So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I smell like Dick and happiness
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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