I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
