I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
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On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
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Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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