Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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