Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
