I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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