just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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