i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
