Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
