You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
