we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
