The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
