Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I think people are normalizing furries
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
