We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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