my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I know her cup size but not her name....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
