Girls should come with a carfax report
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
When are your genitals available?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
