sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
