Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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