he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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