You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
