You can't special order awesome
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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