...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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