i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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