there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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