for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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