You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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