it's too hot outside to masturbate.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
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We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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