So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize