I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
