Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
