He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
