I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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