Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
