I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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