I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
