when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
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It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
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And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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