if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
