My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You're like the curious george of whores
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Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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